Have you ever come across a left-hand or reverse-threaded nut? Unlike standard nuts, they tighten counterclockwise, defying our natural instincts. Prayer is a lot like that. It’s full of counterintuitive truths that challenge how we naturally think and act.
Here are five surprising truths about prayer that might shift your perspective:
Prayer is less about getting things from God and more about enjoying his presence.
Prayer should deepen our relationship with our Father, not just be a task to complete. It's about communion with God. Prayer isn’t about what we can get from God, it’s about getting God himself. That changes everything.
Prayer thrives on honesty, not perfection.
We think we need to clean ourselves up before coming to God, but that’s not how prayer works. God invites us to come as we are—messy, distracted, doubting—and to share our struggles with him.
“The criteria for coming to Jesus is weariness,” writes Paul Miller. “Come overwhelmed with life. Come with your wandering mind. Come messy.”
Jamin Goggin and Kyle Strobel write:
Our great mistake is to see our brokenness, our finitude, and our sin as things that keep us from God rather than as opportunities to throw ourselves at the foot of the cross and grasp his grace.
Your sin and your weakness are not a surprise to God, and they shouldn’t be a hindrance to prayer. He knows. Bring your sins and your weaknesses to him in prayer, and ask for his cleansing and his help.
Prayer is both simple and hard.
It’s as straightforward as telling God what’s on your mind, and even children can do it beautifully. Yet, it’s also hard because it requires perseverance and trust. Prayer is easy and hard at the same time, and that tension never really goes away.
Prayers don’t have to be long to be meaningful.
The Lord's Prayer takes 20-30 seconds to say at a normal pace, and it serves as the model Jesus provided. Some of the best prayers in Scripture are short prayers, like these:
- “I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24)
- “God, be merciful to me, a sinner!” (Luke 18:13)
Short prayers are better than no prayers. If you feel like you can’t pray long, pray short. Pray often. Just pray.
Prayer is less about striving and more about surrendering.
It’s where we admit that we're not in control and trust the One who holds all things together. While prayer takes effort, it’s also about ceasing our striving and resting in God’s work on our behalf.
Finally, here is perhaps the most profound, counterintuitive truth:
Focus less on prayer itself and more on God.
Paul Miller highlights this in his helpful book, A Praying Life. “Oddly enough, many people struggle to learn how to pray because they are focusing on praying, not on God.” Experiment with redirecting your focus from prayer to God: his character, his greatness, his love. Rejoice in who he is and what he’s done for you. When you’re captivated by him, prayer becomes the natural overflow.
If you fixate on prayer, you’ll likely struggle. But if you fix your eyes on God, prayer will likely follow.
Prayer, in all its counterintuitive beauty, invites us into something far greater than we often realize. It’s not about perfect words, polished techniques, or even the act of praying itself. It’s about relationship. It’s about drawing near to the God who made us, loves us, and longs to hear from us.
By surrendering and embracing our imperfections while focusing on God rather than just on prayer, we get closer to the true essence of prayer. It’s not a duty but a delight, not a transaction but a communion. And in that communion, we find the grace, strength, and joy we so desperately need.
